Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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