Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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