I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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