Cold hands, warm shart.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
