so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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