I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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