I wannas sexs uuuuu
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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