I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
