Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I believe in your delicious
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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