why didn't you poke me back
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Randomize
