I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
