i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize