i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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