dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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