i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Randomize
