Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
