This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
