I'm lost and stupid without you.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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