I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
