So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
