your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You pole danced in your parka.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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