ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
