perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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