1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
