i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
