he puts the penis in happiness.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
