While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize