i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
