u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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