I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
