Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
