im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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