I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
