just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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