The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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