I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
