Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize