Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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