Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
