i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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