So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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