Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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