jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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