yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
