speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
