Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
