I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
All the doctor said was why
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
