well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
