Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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