I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
