If i could tip my vagina, i would.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
