why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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