I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
