This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
