...so i touched it.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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