You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize