"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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