If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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