I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
wat bout pragnant strippers??
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
