her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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