i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
