2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
