problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
