i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
